funnies=new Array( "Top 10 Things Not To Say To A Cop
During A Traffic Stop ...", "#10 — If you're here, who's watchin' the Donut Shop?", "#9 — Say, weren't you 'Ponch' on 'CHIPs?'", "#8 — Hey, man... you got any rolling papers?", "#7 — Which is more expensive,
a speeding ticket or DUI?", "#6 — Bad cop! No donut!", "#5 — So, are you Andy or Barney?", "#4 — Wow! I didn't know a police uniform
could stretch that much.", "#3 — I know you! You're one of the 'Village People.'", "#2 — How many tickets to the policemans'
ball is this gonna cost me?", "And the Number One Thing Not To Say
To A Cop During A Traffic Stop ...", "#1 — Hey, buddy, ya wanna beer?", " ", "Traffic School Has Never Been Such A Joke!
Call Today! 954-747-5300", " ", 'A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Sir, your
eyes are red. Have you been drinking?"', 'The man replies, "Your eyes are glazed,
officer. Have you been eating donuts?"', " ", "Certified Courses with Certifiable Instructors!
Call Comedy Fix Now! 954-747-5300", " ", "Top 10 Traffic Ticket Goofy Comments ...", "#10 — Wha'da'ya mean I can't turn left on red?", "#9 — Why should I slow down in a school zone?
I don't have kids.", "#8 — License? I don't need no stinkin' license.", "#7 — But that stop sign is at the end of MY block.", "#6 — It wasn't an illegal U-turn. I turned twice.
That makes it an 'O-turn.'", "#5 — That tree came out of the forest and bit my car!", "#4 — C'mon, there was nobody on the road,
except me and the cop, and I didn't see him.", "#3 — When the light turns yellow
it means speed up, right?", "#2 — But I always turn at the sign that says,
'No Turns Allowed.'", "And the Number One Traffic Ticket
Goofy Comment ...", "#1 — But I CAN drive when I'm drunk.
I do it all the time.", " ", "Call Comedy Fix Traffic School Now!
Dial 954-747-5300", " ", "My car was overheating so I took it to
the mechanic. He said I'd blown a seal.", "I told him, \"Just fix the car and
leave my personal life out of it.\"", " ", "Remove points on your driving record! Restore
your driving priviledge. Call 954-747-5300", " ", "Top 10 Things Not To Say To The Judge ...", "#10 — I got your community service right here, pal!", "#9 — Boy, you sure look different when I'm sober.", "#8 — You couldn't carry Judge Judy's gavel!", "#7 — You're not as easy to bribe
as everybody says you are.", "#6 — Nice robe, sweet thing.", "#5 — The point is that I'm not drunk NOW!", "#4 — Tell your wife I can't meet her
at the motel tonight.", "#3 — I don't suppose I could work it out
with you, umm... privately?", "#2 — Just out of curiousity, are you wearing pants?", "And the Number One Thing Not
To Say To The Judge ...", "#1 — You wanna talk penal code?
I'll show ya some penal code!", " ", "Got A Ticket? We Can Help!
Call 954-747-5300", " ", "Did you hear that the police pulled
Janet Jackson's car over?", "Seems she had one headlight out.", " ", "Sign-up For Your Traffic School Course Today!
Call 954-747-5300", " " );